TOO MUCH TOO SOON?

Thumbelina is still tightly bandaged and has had to be kept aloft for 72 hours … and when I tried to do my hair yesterday the effect was disastrous.

So I did something I have never done, which was, to phone the hairdresser and ask if I could come and have a wash and blowdry.  Normally I only go for a cut.

Anyway, I really like my hairdresser:  she has a lot about her.  Instead of getting off her face with her friends at weekends, she loves  fishing and goes out with her Dad and sister for all-night fishing trips.  She’s been going since she was little, she says.

Today she said she has reached the stage when she wants to be independent.  She’s been with her boyfriend for 4 years – she’s 22 – and living with his parents.   They get on well, she says;  but she would love a place of her own.  And, she adds, not just so that I can call it my own – I want to be responsible for paying the bills and the mortgage, and buying my own food.  And being a grown-up.

I think that’s brilliant, I say.  I’m all for young people being as independent as possible.

Except.  She’s not sure how her boyfriend will like it.  He’s always lived with his parents and he doesn’t want to move.  He’s never had to do anything for himself and when she remonstrates with him, counters with ‘why should I do the chores when the family does them for me?’

If they move in together I foresee a lot of discussion …

But it made me think.  She’s so young, and ready for independence.  She could be having adventures and trying out new ways of doing things.  Instead, she feels she’s likely to become an old nag.

I’m not sure about young people getting hitched up at such an early age.  What would have to happen, to persuade them that they don’t have to move in with each other so soon?  It’s as if her identity has already been swallowed by the relationship, before she’s had a chance to find out who she is and what she wants out of life.

Image result for too much too soon

(image from the.iapolis.com)

 

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4 thoughts on “TOO MUCH TOO SOON?

  1. No, I haven’t received an invitation from you to my knowledge. These blog glitches can be frustrating and involve vast swathes of time in trying to sort them out. I too opted not to be notified about every comment – like you, I don’t want to be swamped by them. I tend to rely on the notification icon in the top bar, but have no way of monitoring how efficient that is.

    I have discovered several ex BCUK people on Facebook, which approximates more to how we were on our previous platform – more immediate, easier to see and respond to comments at once.

    Stitches now out, wound still a bit raw – although the nurse encouraged me not to use a dressing, I find it helpful for protection until the edges of the wound have knit together a bit more.

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  2. Hope the thumb is behaving itself and you are doing as instructed Gilly!

    Going to the hairdresser is good, especially now. I have done similar things when it has not been feasible for me to beautify my locks. It made me feel quite good too, much needed at those sorts of times.

    I have given this post a bit of thought. It raises all sorts of questions and the first one is why is the hairdresser, aged 22, living with the B/f’s family? On the assumption that the two people here are low income earners, they would have to totally rely on their two incomes to make ends meet, and possibly that is all it could be. It would be a rude awakening. The B/f’s rationale for staying put, comes across as egocentric, perhaps a sign of his level of maturity. However, it also appears to me to be practical thinking wrapped up in a more acceptable package than admitting independent living is beyond his (and their) means.

    You are right, I would say, about too much too soon, though, not necessarily for many of the reasons that would have been the norm in the UK for our generation. Many women of hairdresser’s age are in relationships, men are too. On the other hand, you will have seen the research about the difficulty that large numbers of young people have in making and moving into relationships because of the economic difficulties it raises for them.

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    1. Yes to all that! I’ve just been to the hospital for a wound inspection. Everything is looking clean and tidy and healing well, and I can now both get it wet and also dress it myself. Stitches out on Tuesday! I find myself extremely grateful for such a positive experience of hospital efficiency. The nurse told me that my surgeon is not only a perfectionist but runs a tight ship too.

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      1. Just found this. I thought I had just one person whose replies were not notified to me. It looks like there may be two…you being the second. I am really scratching my head on this one. I have tried a disconnection and reconnection with the other blog; that did not work. I have sent two invitations, one I know was not received, my guess is the second is in the same boat. It was not always so.

        I am avoiding being notified of all comments, it can become unmanageable. the issue of receiving notification of replies is not a problem for the majority of my contacts at the present time. It would be interesting to see if you receive an invitation if I sent one to you. I do have a number that were never responded to by ex- BCUK people. I don’t remember receiving any either. I think I took the straightforward option, opting to follow by email where such an option was set up.

        Delighted to hear the news of you and the thumb. It sounds really positive. How was/is the stitch removal.

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