Here in our church there are many major frustrations, some of which I’ve hinted at in the past   Lots of people grumble and I must admit I’ve come to rather dread the post-service coffee time because somebody is bound to bear down on me and start moaning.  I sympathise with them … but I don’t have any answers, I don’t really want to join in because it’s disloyal, and I don’t think it helps always to be negative.

I wondered how our new churchwarden was coping.  We were talking about ‘things’ one day and I noticed that she did not complain like everyone else.  ‘It is what it is’, she says, and she gets on with her job as best she can.

‘It is what it is’ ! – I love it.  When we say that, we are saying that we’re not expecting things to be better or different.  When things aren’t going to change, and we accept it, then we stop expecting them to be the way we want.  Result = we stop feeling disappointed or disillusioned.  We accept the situation for what it is, and start thinking about how to work with it or work round it.  We stop feeling angry and frustrated because it isn’t what we think it ‘should’ be.  It’s a very liberating outlook!

That doesn’t mean that we suddenly stop wanting change for the better.  Of course that’s still on the cards and on the wish list.  But our attitudes are no longer dependent on things changing.  We become realists.  We’re free from bondage to our own expectations and we can work with what is, rather than what is not.  We gradually become more accepting of people as they are, and in a climate like that love can flourish.

It is what it is.  I told our churchwarden – ‘I like your style!’


26 thoughts on “IT IS WHAT IT IS

  1. This is something I say quite often too so I thoroughly approve! Funnily enough I learned the saying from Ivanna Trump on Big Brother years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT that I watched it, but Daughter did so I was exposed to snippets as I sailed around and about… but I heard her say that several times and never forgot it! Ivanna Raving Trump no less!!! 🙂


  2. “It is what it is” : Acts of God are accepted as part of our faith, as long as we can’t change destiny we accept what happens with total satisfaction. Thank you for the good topic and nice article.


  3. I do agree with this, everyone I have met of late has been complaining and I must say it can be horribly draining, especially when nowt can be done…..this is far more optimistic! xxx


  4. She is right. We cannot change others and very often we can’t change situations either.
    Best to work with ‘what is’ rather than what ‘might have been’ :yes:


  5. :yes: Lovely attitude….’It is what it is…’
    Immediately reminded of some favourite words for me….
    ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…etc….etc…’
    Niebuhr…I believe. 😉


  6. One way forward would be to list the grumbles then provided they are not directed at only one person and thus unkind wait say 2 months and pin the list of grumbles up on the notice board without initials of complainants but see if it leads to improved services / worship / behaviour.


      1. Putting up the list would not be loving to the person that everyone is having trouble with. It would simply expose him and make him a victim and be hugely damaging to him and to the church. It’s also a very aggressive move. If only life were that straightforward!


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