Here in our church there are many major frustrations, some of which I’ve hinted at in the past Lots of people grumble and I must admit I’ve come to rather dread the post-service coffee time because somebody is bound to bear down on me and start moaning. I sympathise with them … but I don’t have any answers, I don’t really want to join in because it’s disloyal, and I don’t think it helps always to be negative.
I wondered how our new churchwarden was coping. We were talking about ‘things’ one day and I noticed that she did not complain like everyone else. ‘It is what it is’, she says, and she gets on with her job as best she can.
‘It is what it is’ ! – I love it. When we say that, we are saying that we’re not expecting things to be better or different. When things aren’t going to change, and we accept it, then we stop expecting them to be the way we want. Result = we stop feeling disappointed or disillusioned. We accept the situation for what it is, and start thinking about how to work with it or work round it. We stop feeling angry and frustrated because it isn’t what we think it ‘should’ be. It’s a very liberating outlook!
That doesn’t mean that we suddenly stop wanting change for the better. Of course that’s still on the cards and on the wish list. But our attitudes are no longer dependent on things changing. We become realists. We’re free from bondage to our own expectations and we can work with what is, rather than what is not. We gradually become more accepting of people as they are, and in a climate like that love can flourish.
It is what it is. I told our churchwarden – ‘I like your style!’