WORLD IDEOLOGIES EXPLAINED WITH COWS: for those who feel jaded with politics

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your noble takes some of your milk for himself. The rest is yours.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours argue about who has the most ‘ability’ and who has the most ‘need’. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead from starvation.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you, rotten capitalist that you are.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

PERESTROIKA: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal as much milk as you can and sell it on the ‘free’ market.

TOTALITARIANISM:  You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:  You have two cows. You feed them sheep’s brains and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with …  (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) ..  two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

CAPITALISM: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.

 

(from http://www.cyberclass.net/ref2cows.htm via Danut Manastireanu in his book ‘After Liberation, then What?’ World Vision International)

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26 thoughts on “WORLD IDEOLOGIES EXPLAINED WITH COWS: for those who feel jaded with politics

  1. Trying to control the grin on my face here….it reminded me of a book I have recently read, a serious one. All the facets encapsulated creep into it. The book was about China’s Great Famine, (an academic work rather than a personal view). I should think, the facets are apt today for all of us. This is why we smile.

    It is very clever.

    Like

      1. Yes it is. Just a mo, I’ll get the title/author details from my kindle…….

        Mao’s Great Famine: The History of China’s Most Devastating Catastrophe 1958-62 by Professor Frank Dikotter (umlaut over the ‘o’) It was a holocaust. The numbers of dead are often under-estimated according to Prof Dikotter. It was the most horrible and dreadful manipulation.

        Radio 4 had a reading last week, a book by a Chinese journalist about his personal experiences and findings of that time. The book is not allowed to be sold in China. If you go onto the BBC iplayer you should still be able to pick it up, and hear the readings, or get hold of the title if you want to try to obtain the book.

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