It’s that time of year again. The time when Hub discusses whether it is time yet for him to Wear His Vest.
Now vests, in case you don’t know are very important. They feature in lengthy chats about whether they are strictly necessary, when on a warm sunny day on the beach, along with a shirt, a jumper, a jacket, jeans, socks and shoes and a hat, when the grandchildren are running around in bathing suits.
Our daughters soon gave up hope when they lived at home: tended to roll their eyes and get into their bikinis.
Not so Son. ‘Dad, what on EARTH are you DOING???????? NOT socks with sandals, Dad!! That is a JOKE! and we’re not at the NORTH POLE you know!! Dad’ (and here the chorus would swell with the girls too) you are just SO EMBARRASSING!!!!!’
Hub who, as I’ve said before, simply climbs into the clothes that happen to be there of a morning, could never understand why his sartorial style (or lack of it) occasioned such interest. It never occurs to him even to look in the mirror.
Unless it’s Vests. Now Hub grew up with a Very Good Mummy, who told him that if he didn’t wear his Vest, then he would get the (cue Jaws scary music) … collywobbles
Which is why, at this time of year, a retired man’s fancy turns to Vests
Because, at all costs, we must avoid the (sshhh) collywobbles …