First-time buyers still struggling to get on the petrol ladder


Despite government assurances that the budget would help them out, millions still can’t afford their first gallon of petrol, claims the RAC. With the threat of unemployment and wage freezes allied to the credit crunch, young couples are struggling to get the deposit together to get their cars running. Most first-time pumpers are still having to rent their fuel, and many garages are now refusing to consider anyone with less than a four-star rating.

Shell has defended its decision to charge £299 just to apply for a tank of fuel, with customers tied in for the first year and expected to stay on the variable rate for a further 12 months to help pay off their debt. ‘In these recessionary times we have to be careful that our business doesn’t go up in smoke,’ said a spokesman.

The situation has now reached crisis point with thousands of first-time drivers defaulting on their petrol loans and having their tanks of fuel repossessed by the garage. ‘It leaves an awful taste in the mouth,’ said a Shell employee. ‘Especially if you don’t get the siphon pipe away from your lips in time.’

The government has defended the amount of tax on fuel and says that there is affordable petrol out there if customers are prepared to drive around to find it. But many garages have stopped dispensing petrol altogether and are concentrating on their core business of selling pornographic magazines and withered carnations.

However, there are hopes that alternatives may soon be made available to first-time drivers. After spending billions of pounds in the development stage, the Rover Group waited until the recent budget to finally unveil its long-awaited new ‘low-cost fuel vehicle’. ‘We thought we had the answer to all the petrol cost problems,’ said a spokesman. ‘We developed a car that ran on cider.’

MADJEZ (with help from fun and games, Ludicity and Zen)




  1. I am so grateful that I don’t have to drive anymore. Not only is it ridiculously expensive, but with road more and more crowded…even if you could afford the petrol, it’s not much fun.x


  2. Absolutely love that post but it is so true. Guess we shall soon see the return of the horse drawn milkman and Tesco (and others) delivering by mule.

    Strange all through history a pint of milk has always equalled a pint of petrol and it is true that a pint of cider in a can is cheaper.

    P xx
    Ps I am going to share that on facebook…hope you don’t mind.


  3. :)):)) Could not resist a delicious laugh…..Very well portrayed….
    My shoes are still in excellent condition…as it is…better exercise than sitting. Hugs! :)x


  4. 1.48.9 for a litre, 80 pounds for a fill up, car insurance soaring, buses being dropped from the time table , train fairs going up, one day we will have to stay in our own villages again and surfdom will will return. perhaps when the chinease rule the world in about 10 years time xx


    1. :)) What a prospect! I do wonder sometimes whether we aren’t going to be forced eventually to return to smallholder living. Will we still have the skills?


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