REMEMBERING MUM

Mum died two years ago, and it would have been her birthday last week.  With Mothering Sunday coming up, I feel a bit lost in card shops with nobody to buy for!

My sister sent me a card some time ago and I keep it permanently on my bookcase.  It says:

My Mum is a never-ending song in my heart.

I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.

Thanks, Mum.

Mothers%20Day%20In%20The%20Sand_jpeg[1]

(words by Graycie Harmon)

 

 

 

 

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40 thoughts on “REMEMBERING MUM

  1. Aww! I know. It is so sad. I don’t have anyone to send a card to anymore either. Mum died in 2006. But at least she made it to 88! She did not like the changes going on around her, so I don’t wish her back.

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    1. Lovely to see you back, Charlotte! Do hope your health is not giving you too much trouble. No, I don’t wish my mother back either – she had had enough.

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      1. Thank you, Gillyk! Being ‘attacked’ within, from shoulders all the way to fingertips, since October. My wrists are tiny now! I used to wish for tiny wrists, now my wish has been granted. haha! The inflammation is eating away my muscles, and it is a slow and painful process.
        Getting on these blogs really helps me not think about it, but it is worse first thing in the mornings!
        Strange to be in a new house miles away from Texas. I feel as if I am in a dream – or is it a nightmare?
        Still, there is much to be grateful for, and I attended the Presbyterian church round the corner from the gates here, in order to give thanks for a safe journey and a new haven. Lovely people, very accepting, and the lady-Vicar gave us a most pleasant sermon about Jesus at the well, talking to the Samaritan girl.
        So, I shall go there again this coming Sunday, God willing. Thank you for asking, gillyk. XXX

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      2. I’m so sorry to hear this, Charlotte, but pleased that you have found a welcoming church. Maybe they offer prayers for healing?

        So where is your new house? I hate moving!

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      3. We came from West to East America!
        His son kept at us for the past two years to please come and live nearer to them, for a twelve hour journey would be out of the question soon.
        I talked David into it for the sake of the family.
        He turned 75 Wednesday, and things happen suddenly at that age.
        So, we took the arduous journey by car, stopping for the night twice along the way.
        The packing and the Movers is a nightmare I don’t even wish to remember!
        We are now in Montgomery, Alabama, just twenty minutes away from the family. They are over the moon!
        We are still a little uncomfortable, but it was the best thing to do.
        His son and wife are at the peak of their careers, and to suddenly have to get on the road and drive non-stop for twelve hours if David was hospitalized, would have been almost impossible.
        They are at the peak of their jobs now, his son teaches 18 year olds. His daughter-in-law is in charge of the Archives Building for Alabama in downtown Montgomery.
        His grandson will start college in September.
        So, here we are! It was the decent thing to do.

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      4. A huge challenge, JW, but you have done it now, and I hope it will be very fruitful in terms of family relationships. And also, I hope you are both getting plenty of rest – moving is exhausting in all sorts of ways!

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  2. I had a stepmother who was mean to me but i wish she was alive so i had some one to buy for on mothers day i dont think mums are respected and appreciated today by many as they should be. Afterall a mum is a mum the only one you have and you owe her respect in my book whatever she did.xx

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  3. That is soooooo lovely, I also haven’t got a ‘real’ Mum to send one to, step Mum can’t read but I have bought her one and we lost my Mum to heart failure when she was only 53 and I always feel it on Mothering Sunday. My daughter is flying home on Sunday so the best present I could have is a phone call to say she is home 🙂 x

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  4. :(Must be very hard and I cannot imagine it as not lost anybody close to me yet other than Dog which is hardly the same! I have all this to come but I can only try to imagine what it feels like but have a feeling I don’t understand at all…..

    So I have nothing useful to say other than send lots of love and hugs xxxx

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    1. Thanks, dt – much appreciated! I always wondered how I would do, when the time came … I do feel sad, but also thankful, and I guess I am very blessed, because so often people don’t feel either the one or the other.

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      1. I do know one person who said when their mother died, all their neuroses died with them and they’d been sane ever since! I think you are indeed very blessed……:)

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      2. Well, I have my own little neuroses which my parents used to feed … 😉 But at least I had become aware of the patterns and could decide what to do, instead of just reacting in the same old way. No parent is perfect and in the end I find it is liberating to say that most parents do the best they can, and so do I, but nobody gets it right all the time and that is something our kids have to work through! I prefer not to think about that though … 😉 Igloo is calling, methinks.

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      3. Oh yes please! To the igloo! I think my mum still has me firmly by the short and curlies but keeps making out she won’t last for much longer so keeps me pegging on 🙄 I think I’ll shall go insane with excitement when she dies… isn’t that AWFUL? Yet we have been getting on really sweetly up til today when I am just feeling utterly exhausted all of a sudden! :)) Then she turned rather sour and cranked the guilt up but I just couldn’t drive there without nodding off…..:))

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      4. Yes, it is all one way, isn’t it? But if she won’t take care of you, then you need to – especially with all that’s going on in your life at present … exhausting! Hugs!!

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      5. I really think it won’t be long before she gives in and opts for a nursing home poor mum….. She had such a bad turn on Friday evening and also again today – is forgetting to take pills……. and she is feeling really almost beaten and I just feel so terribly sorry about it – she is feeling really so desparate and vulnerable and frightened 😦 Wish she’d accept 24 hour care as Brother and I would do some of it so wouldn’t have to be all strangers…. we’ll see….

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      6. … no short cuts, it seems … keep waiting, keep praying, keep expecting God to make it clear … keep looking for the right time … keep trudging on …

        All very well except when you want everything sorted NOW Lord please and preferably yesterday!! :))

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      7. Yes….! It will only happen in her own time and at her own pace but now at least I can really appreciate her reluctance and “feel her pain” if you know what I mean… 😦

        Have to say it is all getting pretty gut-renching. Is now going to accept having a catheter which has taken a tortuous while to come to acceptance of…. It is like walking with somebody who cries and whimpers every tiny tiny step of the way and understanding why and just wondering how awful this is all going to get…… Like having yer teeth pulled out very very slowly one by one and bawling and howling bitterly about each and every one; not letting one nuance of the pain go unreported and lamented….. Poooooooooor mum…… I can only look sympathetic and hold her hand and creep along by her side….

        I tell you when it is my turn I’m just out of here and off to the igloo….. no nonsense… just…..DO IT!

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      8. My Mum complained about the pain so much that it was very difficult to gauge just how bad it was. It was always ‘the worse pain I’ve ever had in my life’ – which didn’t help when trying to work out the strength of her painkillers!

        I felt so sorry for her but it was so difficult to help because, like your Mum, she just fought everything tooth and nail including the things that would help her.

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      9. I know what you mean…. my mum has been ‘at the verge of about to die’ soooooo many times it has been impossible to gauge the situation – the story of the little boy who cried wolf etc…… Our mums should have met and we could have just let them get on with it! 😉

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  5. My former doctor told me more people die in March….then she died on 19th,My mother in law died then and my sister’s mother in law fied 2 weeks ago…they just can’t make it through.I feel sad on Mother’s day too as being brought up by a single parent you have an even stronger attachment.Though i was glad my mother went silently and peacefully at home.
    I’m not surprised you feel down…..do hope after the weekend you will feel better.to lode both so close together was very sad for you.Hugs Kathryn xx

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    1. 2 years is still very recent, isn’t it, Cactus. I don’t dwell on it but I am going through my Dad’s archives at the mo and that of course makes them much more present to me. Hugs!

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  6. The gap stays some time. The anniversaries are hard the first year, not so easy the second one. The sadness can lessen then on. We will all remember. That is so much more meaningful, it says so much.

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    1. Thanks, Menhir. Dad’s loss, which will be on 2 April, is much more raw than Mum’s as he died last year. It is all coming at once, combined with her birthday and Mothers’ Day – probably helps to explain why I’m feeling a bit low at present.

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  7. That’s a lovely thought….;)
    Funnily enough…my mum..deceased many decades ago.. would have been 102 years old today… I always remember her on this date… ;)xx

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      1. It’s a very silly time to go. Just when you can enjoy the earth waking up and full of blossom and unfurling leaves and sunshine and spring lambs … much more sensible to go when in the grip of winter and all is cold, grey and paralysing! EVERYONE TAKE HEED … 😉

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  8. I lost my mum a few years ago but I still want to buy a card on mothers day.
    This year I’m buying bunches of daffodils for the mums in church, not just the ones with young children but for all the mums. We only have a small congregation thankfully :)) :))

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  9. Oh gilly I feel for you I am in the same situation I lost my dear Mama last April so feel very sad I cannot give her a card she used to love Mothers Day too .. the words to the card you have are beautiful …my dear Mum and dear Hubby were my rocks like your parents too gilly and I am a complete wimp without them..my lovely children are planting rose bushes in the garden in rememberance of them Big Hugs Gilly xx

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    1. It’s a beautiful idea, rose bushes, Lilian! Thanks for the hugs and have some yourself. I’m not looking forward to 2 April because Dad died on that date last year, so it’s all coming at once which is probably why I’m feeling a bit down at the mo.

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