One of the joys of living in this neighbourhood is that our drive gets used as a public convenience. There’s a high holly hedge along one side that gives a bit of privacy from the road and this is clearly considered a good thing by those with weak bladders or who just didn’t ‘go’ before they came out.

Hub has caught people at it on occasion (always men, of course, so I am visited with a strong desire to catch them in flagrante and give them a shove into the holly … :>) but this has not put anybody off, needless to say. We keep the gates at the bottom of the drive closed most of the time, but it is a right nuisance, especially if we are getting the car out several times a day.

Yesterday, however, hub arrived clutching a poly bag. Inside was all sorts of delicious fresh fruit, including grapes and quite expensive things like kumquats.


He had found it on the drive. Obviously, somebody had put it down to do their business then failed to remember it afterwards!

Serve him right. Said in the greatest charity. Of course. :>>



      1. I was desperate to spend a quick penny,
        But of lavatories, there weren’t any.
        So I stood on my head,
        To send it upwards instead.
        So now I have one bladder too many.

        There xx


  1. Just have to put in my ‘pennysworth’ here, please?
    Friend and I were exploring the caves in Bermuda one sunny afternoon. In this particular cave, we had to descend carefully from a small hole at the top. At same time I needed to ‘do a pee!’
    Seeing a rectangular hole in the ground near the cave wall, I squatted and began to relieve myself.
    Suddenly I heard this ‘old witch-type cry and a huge beak came out and almost tore off my ‘flaps!’ I was lucky it just missed.
    Had a horrible fright, and realized I had peed on top of a rather large seabird sitting on it’s eggs in a nest!


      1. :)) Thank you, Kathryn! I love crosswords. I do books of them. I’ve wondered about posting ‘a clue a day’ – either one I can’t get, to see if anyone else can: or one that I think is clever.


  2. Our neighbourhood isn’t that much different – we have no public toilet here in the village so sometimes they use the wall for their convenience – caught one guy in suit, called across and explained that there are mothers with young families living in the area -all I got was a rebuttal so haven’t bothered since!


      1. Your taste buds should soon tell you whether it was a set up or not.Taste and smell are very closely related. It might be wise to smell before you eat. Maybe you’ll neither smell nor eat now!


  3. I think it was left as a most generous tip for your supplying such splendid toilet facilities πŸ˜‰

    Seriously though, how outrageous of people to come and do that in your garden!!!
    An electric fence…. strategically placed???? :))


      1. There are, however, pubs, cafes, supermarkets, museums, art galleries etc. all with lavatories open to the public. It’s not hard to go in, buy some crisps or a bar of chocolate or pick up a leaflet to legitimise your visit, and then make the convenient visit.


      2. I have arthritis so can hardly walk, and also limited vision so can’t always see/walk to the nearest art gallery ha ha ha.As if we had an art gallery hereTeeh heee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
        If a dog can do it on a tree why not poor little mee ee eeh?Wait till you are old and weak and then somewhere to pee, do seek.
        Many old people I know won’t go out at all since out loos in town were shut.Walking half a mile to a supermarket is ok for the fit .
        I just had pneumonia and oh,girl,did it make me to pee myself all day and night as i sat propped up coughing for 3 weeks.
        Lord save you from a different blight


      3. In Britain anything to do with excretion is probably going to get a lot of attention!Excretion is considered some how morally questionable.
        Ideally we should refrain form excretion or if we do it it must be hidden and concealed.Rather like sex,ideally we shouldn’t indulge in it except perhaps to reproduce and even that was questioned by the Manicheans!
        The body is evil.It’s a heresy.I was so pleased to see Shimon’s answer from a different tradition.


      4. Except that if you want to get a big belly-laugh from British society you will refer to excreta of one form or another!

        I don’t think the body or its functions are evil. But I do think there are such things as good manners and not imposing selfishly on other people.


  4. In our country it is considered completely legitimate just so long as you keep it private. Sometimes you see a sign in alleyways, saying, ‘please don’t piss against this wall’, and the request is usually honored.


    1. Would you accept it happening in your own garden, Shimon?

      Yes – it is very common in other countries but even so, there are unwritten ‘understandings’ about appropriate and non-appropriate places.


      1. Yes. I think I would, though it doesn’t happen. It does happen at the edge of our parking lot from time to time. I was raised with the belief that a person should not hold back their bodily functions (it is so written in the talmud), and so I never thought of it as a negative thing. I am much more disturbed by dog droppings in public places. If there were a lot of restrooms in public places, we wouldn’t have the problem… but I suppose it’ll take a while till we will see that.


      2. I too have a particular disgust of dog droppings in public places!

        I didn’t know that about what is written in the Talmud – but then, there is a great deal I don’t know.

        I hope you’re having a good day, Shimon.


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